Bringing in the spiritual-eternally

Shavuot couldn't of came at a better time. I just turned 20, and here I was celebrating receiving the most precious gift, the Torah.

Our program took us too Jerusalem for the holiday and at first I was a little nervous. Shavuot is the holiday where you stay up all night, and this time, at 4 AM, since I was in the holy city, march to Jerusalem. I never had a real shavuot before...I mean I celebrated with my family when i was growing up, eating the festive dairy meal...but besides that, the real staying up all night learning shavuot I did not experience.

So Shavuot came in, and Rabbi Menachem Nissel (he came to be with our program for the holiday-so lucky!) opened up the chag with a shiur. I never heard him before, but knew he came highly recommended, and after he spoke I knew why. What I took from the first time he spoke is the real concept behind the whole dairy custom..(the festive meal is dairy). He explained that when the Jews were receiving the Torah, they were learning halachos as well. They were learning the laws of kashrut and realized that they had nothing at the moment that would make their meat kosher. So at the time, meat was a main meal, and a dairy meal was never really a concept. So here is where the woman came in and decided to get a little creative and make a festive meal, but in dairy form. In short, they took what was on their spiritual plate and used it full force. The Jews absorbed G-d's commandments and put them into action..something that was fairly new to them. So when we eat dairy, we are reminded to take what is offered to us in the spiritual world and bring it into the physical world.

So then we had our amazing dairy meal and then headed back to the rooms we had reserved to learn in all night. 10:45 kicked it off where we Rabbi Nissel speak to us again, and this time about not missing the opportunity. He told us the story of a young Israeli that grew up hating religious people, and after a series of events that included (missing his trip to Thailand after his army, ending up in Tzfat instead, having a few encounters with religious people that ultimately led him to Yeshiva in Jerusalem), he started a journey back to Judaism. After that I attended classes by Rabbi Ari Kahn, Rabbi Tani Prero, and Rabbi Adam siegal, abd in between discussed a book on purity with my friend Elisheva and had a one on one talk with Rabbi Meyer.

I learned so much as the night progressed. I'll share one very important concept though. I approached Rabbi Meyer with a question. What did you mean in your class when you said that once people start tuning into themselves as Jews, they feel alone? With his eyes half open, he slowly glanced up at me. He began to explain that when a person starts tuning into themselves, they become more and more aware that their only ever lasting relationship is with the Almighty. They start to see that everything around them is staged; every person, every action, every step, and everything you do is designed by G-d. He continued saying that everything you do in this world is for one purpose; to get closer and closer to G-d..he admitted to me, even when he is married with children, he still sometimes feels alone, knowing that G-d is the only one that 100% truly understands him.

4 AM came quicker than ever. I was alert the whole night listening to these amazing teachers give it all they have to inspire us just once more before the year ended. I didn't want to stop learning, but I was excited to get to the kotel. So on my way to the kotel, I took advantage of the opportunity to speak to another rabbi, Rabbi Menaged, for most of the duration of the walk to the kotel. I asked him some question, but ultimately our discussion was led to one meaningful thing that I picked up on this year; free choice. He went in depth about it and ultimately helped me realize that G-d is that one that is putting the doors of opportunities in front of us..it is us, our free will, to take the key and open those doors and see what lies behind them and beyond.

We arrived at the kotel, and at this point I lost my friends and in the crowds of tens of thousands of people, I didn't even attempt to find them. It was so so packed, but I stayed behind the railings peering at such a precious place that us Jews hold so close to our hearts. I prayed the most intense morning prayer as the sun rose over the Jerusalem sky asking G-d for the continuation of clarity within me, within my family, within my friends, within the Jewish people..I thanked him as well for putting this door of opportunity in front of me, and for the many others that go on these spiritual journeys as well.

I found my friends and we eventually went to here kiddush and walk back to the hotel.
The whole Shavuot experience was amazing. I learned so much and was so genuinely happy to be learning with the amazing people that were there with us as well. From pesach till now we were counting the omer and I learned in one of my classes at Bar Ilan that the 49 days were a period of reflection and renewal. My teacher, Tamar Weissman, was very right when she said that because Shavuot came around and I could almost see my spiritual journey laid out in a canvas before my eyes. This shavuot set me off into a new year, a 21st year of life, another spiritual journey, and ultimately life of being a committed to Judaism Jewish girl <3