Lifes waiting to begin

On thing different that I've been doing here more is reading. I always liked to, but before I always thought I found something better to do. But now I'm actually picking up a variety of books and seeing what I can get out of them. I like to get inspiration, humor, and happiness out of books, but the one thing I love most is when I find something that relates to my life.
"The Return to Zion" from the Popular Judaica Library is something I've been reading lately. I picked up this book because I'm in a class-Arab-Israel conflict and I sometimes find myself lost knowing that my background on Israel isn't so strong. One would think that I wouldn't get anything the relates out if since it is basically a history text, but I found something pretty close. There was a guy Moses Hess (1812-75), who was the first assimilated Jew to turn to Zionism. Basically he wrote a book called "Rome and Jerusalem" and this book had its opening paragraph. I feel the need to quote the whole thing:

"After twenty years of estrangement I have returned to my people. Once again, I am sharing in it's festivals of joy and days of sorrow, in its hopes and its memories....a sentiment which I believed I had suppressed beyond recall is expressed once again. It is the thought of my nationality, which is inseparably connected to my ancestral heritage, with the Holy Land and the Eternal City...For years this half strangled emotion has been stirring in my breast and clamoring for expression, but I had not the strength to swerve from my own path, which seemed so far from the road to Judaism, to a new one which i could only envisage only vaguely in the hazy distance."

wow. Reading it and now and writing it myself; it's like I am a re-incarnation of the guys soul! Well not really, but it really mirrored my feelings right before I came to Israel. If I didn't like writing so much I may have used this as my admissions essay! Just kidding just kidding. But really,I was 19 when I got here and really felt that I was finally returning back to surrounding myself with Jewish people. I pledged to keep all the holidays and so far have done quite well. The emotions I felt when I was younger, when I was in my orthodox phase growing up, are finally begin able to be released again. Some of my family, all from Europe, immigrated here in the times of the Holocaust and started anew in this amazing land. My heart was sore when I was living out of the Jewish loop, and I didn't know how to rekindle my Jewish identity-I only envisioned it, and it was only in my wildest dreams...

Mirroring scenarios really help someone in any emotion. It reassures them that there is light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how hard the situation is. When I was around 17, I was really into this band called Angels & Airwaves. There songs were centered around inspiration. They made airplanes their logo,just like life taking off. I made them my hideaway. Every time I would feel helpless I would drive my car to a random spot, sit, listen to the music, cry, and try to find a way out of the life I was in. One song called "The Adventure"-really hit my heart's home run. Here's why:

"I wanna have the same last dream again
The one where I wake up and I'm alive
Just as the four walls close me within
My eyes are open up with pure sunlight
I'm the first to know
My dearest friends
Even if your hope has burned with time
Anything that is dead shall be re-grown
And your vicious pain, your warning sign
You will be fine

Hey oh here I am
And here we go
Life's waiting to begin"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMl8cQjBfqk

Find inspiration out of everything you encounter-it's here for a reason, and the reason is you.