My real soul

You want to know how you know you have a soul? You have an intuition, you have feelings, you have that pulling of emotions that make you smile, cry, laugh, scream. So lately, my soul has been screaming to me pulling me directions I've never been before and it's really opening up my eyes. I guess eyes really are the window to the soul, but for now instead of someone looking into mine right now, my soul is bursting out.

I have felt so many emotions that have made me tear up lately. To name one, one of our Av Bayit (father of the homes-basically lives on campus and is there for us), just had a baby girl. I was lucky enough to attend the naming of his daughter. Seeing something so real, something that is coming straight from the desires of his and his wife Ayelet's hearts was seriously heart warming. They names her Tehilah Yakira or Rosi. I forgot the whole definition of the name but what I got was that our singing praises to G-d should be held close and be precious to us especially in this time of Channukah. Real lives, real emotions, real joy. Another time was when I met with a financial aid adviser from Stern. I was explaining to her how I got to where I was, and then came up with this thing that I said 'I've found this happiness, this inner happiness, that wasn't in me before and that's why I'm siting here now, trying to enrich my Jewish mind, and my future's Jewish minds'. I almost lost it, but kept my cool since it was my first time meeting her.

All these things, are bringing out the person I never thought in a million years I could be. I saw her; Chana Leah (myself)in a distance in happiness, I just didn't know how to reach her. I called to my soul, it has finally answered; I'm beginning this life in clarity, reality, and truth.