The freedoms within (ask me about what I mean)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Are we getting something out of this all encompassing trip?

Rosh Hashana is tomorrow. I literally have to take a deep breath every time I think about the occurrences that took place from 5771-5772.
It was almost yesterday that I was at my public college sick to my stomach at the thought at who I was becoming; I clearly remember not being able to look myself in the eye and as I scanned over my body...I didn't recognize who I was. That was my turning point that landed me in Israel.

And that year in Israel came and went so quickly. Its hard though to imagine all the events that took places, all the challenges, learning, tears, laughs, hugs, questioning, understanding, and ultimately coming close to the concept of oneness, Hashem.

Now being Chutz Laaretz, its hard to even grasp those feelings that I achieved when I was in the land..but I know I am still connected. I picked up my siddur that other day, flipped through the pages and burst into tears remembering my first time re-opening it when I got to the kotel last year.

Now I don't want to sound like I've grown up completely into the person I want to be, because I still feel far from it...but I realize I have to give myself some credit. If you don't give yourself credit for your positive'll put you back where you started-trust me I've been there.

I'm aware that this writing may seem a bit all over the place but that just puts the theme of being all over the place this past year in place. 5771 was the craziest, spiritually and physically, year of my life. I took in so much and only hope to use those experiences and incorporate into the lives of others.

But here are a few major things I learned in 5771 including (but certainly not limited to)
-You can turn around for the better at any given moment-no two moments in this world are alike
-Everything happens for a reason..bad or good..and if you look at everything with meaning, then you will be happy
-You can't hide from who you feel you are inside-you need to find a balance-or else your emotions will eat you up
-Crying is releasing, and releasing is good
-There is so much in this world that is hard to understand and you just have to accept it
-Israel is my home-and I'm just studying abroad in New York to try and get others to realize that Israel is their home too-I'll be back home soon
-The concept of free choice is very real-you choose the type of person you want to be
-We all came from the same place-an egg-and were all eventually going to the same place-to dust- everyone starts out as a baby...this will help you loose your judgmental qualities and accept people for who they are
-Ultimately, as old fashioned as people may think it is, the Torah is the guide book to first glance it may seem like stories that were made up..but there's so much more too just need to take time to take it in

Of course each one of these things came with much more to it, so I guess you can just ask me about it if your really interested....but for now I want to voice that I'm hoping this upcoming year will be infused with just as much growth, learning, and inspiration that I found in my homeland, in 5771, in Israel.
And that goes for everyone -  take your blessings, meaning take your life, because your life is a blessing and be the best person you can be this year...everyone has the potential its just up to you to find it.

The title of this blog is found in this song-absorb, understand, and be inspired

Sunday, September 11, 2011

How I am inspired

Inspiration doesn't come easy.

I've been in New York for about 2 weeks and have felt a major blow compared to what I was receiving in Israel. Of course, I got the warnings from everyone telling me the reception is just off when your not in the land, and I can fully attest to that. But every beginning is hard, and I know I'll acheive that mindset soon. You just have to search.

I know one way is through being an NCSY adviser. I'm very thankful that I'm beginning a new path in life that will help others achieve happiness and seek out the truth...I  know that when I see people inspired, I am in turn inspired.

I remember my last shabbat with people on my program I saw one of my friends singing with a group of girls at kabbalat shabbat by the kotel. I saw her smiling and happy and it just made me cry..tears of happiness. I love that feeling, seeing people inspired and I hope I can incorporate seeing that for the rest of my life.