Question

Suffering is for making us grow......



right?

Anti-Sleep

I've come to the conclusion that I am not going to get much sleep while I am here for the year. We have class sun-thurs. Sunday I get to wake up a little later, but from Mon-Thurs I'm up at 6:15, (so i can press my snooze button a few times) and then have long days that range from ending at 3:45 to 5:45. Then, there are activities at night, like cooking with the counselors, or insightful talks about peace; just random things that are alternatives to going out. I attend most of them, and then sleep from either 11-2. Anyways, I love shabbat now, because it's the only 25 hours where I'm actually resting. Thanks g-d for commanding us to rest once a week, it really is great!

My classes are like this so far: Ulpan level 3 sunday, Arab-Israeli conflict sunday night, Jewish literacy, Tanach Overview, Business marketing, and Leaders and Leadership on Monday, Bein Adam L'Chaverio, Aggada, and then a chessed internship where I will be volunteering, Contemporary Halachik issues and World of the Sages on Wednesday, and Practical Halacha, Philosophy of the Siddur, Biology, and Micro-economics on Thursday. It's a pretty busy schedule taht involves activities, and trips, and then me doing my own thing so free time is pretty close to shot!

I may have gotten emotional once or twice. I think of my 'provacative' past, and then I think of my future, and that makes me happy that I'm really dedicated to changing. Also, I opened my facebook up one day and came across some words, that weren't directed towards me, but between my family, and it brought back many many memories. I was lucky to have Rabbi Bryks there to calm me down, because I was not well for a few minutes. But that night, we also had a bonfire that calmed me down and made me realize how lucky I was to be in such a warm and interesting place.

This Shabbat was an out Shabbat so I was able to go wherever I wanted. I was lucky enough to be able to have one of the families on campus to host my mother (since she was here on business) for the weekend. SO because the Siegel family had us for both meals, i cooked a past time, a deli roll, (for those of you who don't know pastry dough with deli slices and mustard, aka fattening goodness) and brought it over. Mrs. Siegel also prepared an array of yummy (and healthy!!) food. After Shabbat, 3 people from my mom's side of the family: Carmela, Nurit, and Hila, picked my mother and I up from Ramat Ef Al and took us to a nice dairy restaurant called Uno in Tel Aviv. It's truly amazing how the vegetables are so much better here. I still cannot get over it! Overall Shabbat was relaxing and fun.

Tomorrow is our first day of Ulpan, and I could not find myself placed on the list of which level to go to. SO because of this, I'm placing myself in level 3, and seeing where it goes from there. Following that, we have a table to table fruit picking for the needy activity, which im sure is going to very rewarding =)

I miss my brother! Wish he was here with me <3 I can't wait to see his album, I know it's going to be amazing and I'm going to brag to every one about him! love you bro!

thinking > sleeping

My intrigue for the Jewish life is at it's highest right now.

We just started taking classes, and I'm actually excited to actually start getting into the learning. Even though I'm taking 8 Jewish classes, 5 Secular classes, and 1 Ulpan class, I'm still ready. I am a little afraid since so much information has departed my mind; it might be hard to absorb it all in one year.

Besides that though, anyone that has met me in the past 5 years, or anyone that knows me, would be suprised to know that I'm known as one of the girls that 'never go out'. I like to stay back, and chill, and sit outside and play guitar, and have intelligent conversations. I've purposefully sparked conversations to get my mind thinking, so I'm not just sitting around or sleeping and doing nothing like I did in Orlando.

There were a few people back at UCF that said I was running away from my problems, and that it was stupid that I was coming here. Well to all you doubters, I am now something to prove.

What a life.

FINALLY!

Some time to sit down and to relax! So many things have happened in the past few days. It feels like it's been so long since I've gotten to Ramat Ef'Al. Here's why:

Tuesday: Move-in day. I definitely don't live in a 5-star hotel. But, I also don't live in the slums. The dorms are like this: two story separate buildings that have 12-15 girls in each of them (this is the girls campus which is a few minutes from the guys). I live on the second floor with a really awesome and sweet girl named Rachel. She's from Kansas, and kinda looks like Taylor Swift. Anyways, the room has two beds, ONE closet, and two desks. No drawers, no storage space, and an israeli shower that has no separation ont eh floor, so the water gets every where. We also have many pets. I mean ants. BUT despite the interesting living conditions, I'm actually really enjoying it. Thursday night, I went to one of the guys on the programs freinds house in tel aviv, with a few other girls, some from L.A and one from new York, and just relaxed.

Wednesday: Woke up at 9:50 to register early for classes. Turns out, I have to take 8 Jewish classes, 4 English classes, and one Hebrew language class. So that's 13 classes a semester. Not what I'm really used to, coming from UCF, but I'm definitely going to be busy, and I like that :) After that, the school took everyone to a big home store, and a grocery store, where my roommate and I split costs and agreed on almost everything! That night, I just unpacked and went 'to sleep.

Three generations of Beauty: Suzie, Reut, and Esti

Thursday: I don't really remember what time we woke up, but I know it was early. Anyways, we went to Jerusalem early in the morning. Personally, I had a meaningful morning prayer and just felt purely happy. After that we went to, or should I say underground to the pitch black tunnel tours. Funny thing: I was right behind one guy that is in charge of the group, named Meir Balofsky, He's really great with people our age. Anyways, he was like "I've done this so many times" turns out though, we got lost behind him,in the pitch black. It was pretty funny, and we eventually found our way back. After this, I took (my first) bus alone back to ramat ef al so i can get back and get ready for Reut's wedding. When I got back, I got ready, and got picked up my my aunt Susie and we were on our way. The wedding was truly a beautiful experience. I honestly got goosebumps, when I saw them first touch each other, since that was the first time they touched each other since they met...
Eitan Kochav with me and his two sons, Matan and Or

Friday: we were woken up early to go mountain biking and do a ropes course. It was really fun, even though the bike ride was pretty challenging. After that, we went to Ariel for a shabbaton. To sum up Friday and Saturday, I met a lot of people and may have inspired some, telling them of my past, and my goals now.

JUST SAYING, I have not been out or drank since I've been in Israel; for those of the family members that are worried ;)

The Few Remaining Activities

Saturday night I traveled on a train (I'm a pro at this train thing, now how to conquer the buses :o ?) to Netanya to see my friend Arielle Fried and her family. From the train station, I took a taxi to the main street in Netanya, where her and her family were having sushi. I joined, and was lucky to have them treat me to a sushi dinner as well.

The next day, we woke up late and then just relaxed and then walked to a dairy cafe a few minutes around her house. She lives right off the beach, so it was really nice to get a wide view of the Mediterranean. It looked like there was some surf there, so another trip there seems to be in my near future. Anyways, we just relaxed for the rest of the day, and enjoyed a really beautiful sunset right before I boarded the train back to Shoham.
Today, Monday, Reut woke me up and asked me to accompnay her on her errands, which included laminating a prayer that the groom reads as the bride walks down the aisle, some pharmacy items, and volunteering. At first, i was really tired, but I realized I didn't want to waste the day away so I tagged along.

I really loved volunteering. It was a room with a bunch of donated clothes and Reut and I were supposed to go through it and find clothes for 3 month year old girl, 6 month year old girl, 1 year old girl, 2 year old girl, and size 25 shoes for a boy. Even though the room was small, and there was no A.C, and the plastic bags started sticking to me because I was sweating from the heat, I really enjoyed the outcome.

I'm definitely going to find a place to volunteer at close to where I'm moving in tomorrow! I don't want to waste any time while I'm here; I just want to absorb a new life with new experiences and to grow with what I see.

Tears of Joy and Distant Feelings

Reut'sShabbat Kallah went beautifully...for her.

I sat in the background the whole Shabbat and observed the many Israeli girls that were all Reut's friends. They played games, sang songs, danced, and prayed. At one point, when everyone was singing a lighter song, Esti and Sapir, her mother and sister, started to cry. I teared a bit over this sight of pure love.

However, the whoe time, I felt sort of out of place. Everyone, Shomer Negiah, Or close (which means they won't touch any men, even their fiances until they were married. I thought it was beautiful for them, but I also may of felt embarresed or ashamed of my past, compared to theirs. Anyways, I made a connection with one amazing girl named Advah. She insisted on helping and cleaning the whole time. By the end, she came over to me and told me that I was very brave for what I was doing, and that she really was thinking about me the whole time she was here. She told me that she hopes I have an amazing time, and that maybe someday, I'd move there. She almost made me cry, but I held back.

Reut's shabbat kallah really gave me time to sit and reflect since the girls were speaking hebrew so fast, that I could barely catch one word.

I am now going to visit an old friend, that I still label a close friend since we grew up together. I respect people i grew up with, because they know where I came from...

Hakafot and Hallah

Simchat Torah had just ended and I spent it at Rabbi Bryks's house in Ramat Bet Shemesh. Despite the Hebrew name of the city, EVERYONE spoke English. It was a very Americanized neighborhood. Not to mention, very religious. Anyways, 2 other girls from another seminary stayed at the Bryks's home as well. They were both very sweet, one girl was from Manchester, and one from New York.

We went to the shul (that was a few steps away) for Hakafot (traditional dancing for renewing the reading of the torah) and all the men were dancing with their kids. The women on the other hand, were not. I wanted to ask why, but I knew the answer; the women were in sight of the men, so it wouldn't be appropriate. I wouldn't choose a place like this to live, because all I wanted to do was dance, dance, dance. Besides that though, it was really beautiful to see the passionate faces on the men that were really happy to be renewing the 5 books.

The next day consisted of relaxing, and me reading a 750 page book that I got 350 pages over one night, and one day. It's called The Double life on Chani Greenberg, and it has a really really good plot. I borrowed it from the rabbi, and will most likely have it finished by the end of Shabbat. I like that my life is different over here.

Anyways, I really really wish I remembered to take that vitamin C from my dad before I left, because of course, my glands and ears are starting to hurt. Usually this happens when I go away....I'm so not in the mood to go to an Israeli doctor right now!

This Shabbat is my cousins Shabbat Kallah. I'm really excited for her, but not so much excited to be with a bunch of girls that are going to talk and talk and talk in hebrew so quickly that I won't be able to follow. Hopefully I feel better in the morning so the headaches don't start kicking in...
Maya, Sagit, Me, Reut, Shir, and Tami

So before Shabbat we all just made Challahs and did the mitzvah just for women where you rip the piece of dough of and 'sacrifice' or something. It was said all in Hebrew, so I don't know the whole meaning behind it. Reut is so so happy, it is really written all over her face. Her wedding is in 6 days, when she can finally touch the man she's been engaged too for a few months...I wonder how that feels?