Tears of Joy and Distant Feelings

Reut'sShabbat Kallah went beautifully...for her.

I sat in the background the whole Shabbat and observed the many Israeli girls that were all Reut's friends. They played games, sang songs, danced, and prayed. At one point, when everyone was singing a lighter song, Esti and Sapir, her mother and sister, started to cry. I teared a bit over this sight of pure love.

However, the whoe time, I felt sort of out of place. Everyone, Shomer Negiah, Or close (which means they won't touch any men, even their fiances until they were married. I thought it was beautiful for them, but I also may of felt embarresed or ashamed of my past, compared to theirs. Anyways, I made a connection with one amazing girl named Advah. She insisted on helping and cleaning the whole time. By the end, she came over to me and told me that I was very brave for what I was doing, and that she really was thinking about me the whole time she was here. She told me that she hopes I have an amazing time, and that maybe someday, I'd move there. She almost made me cry, but I held back.

Reut's shabbat kallah really gave me time to sit and reflect since the girls were speaking hebrew so fast, that I could barely catch one word.

I am now going to visit an old friend, that I still label a close friend since we grew up together. I respect people i grew up with, because they know where I came from...